How Parenthood Changes Friendship {Lite v.}/Open Apology

{This is mostly written to the tune of 2007-2011ish, 

though the sentiments expressed could easily apply to the people in my life now.}

With gift giving, limited space, and Christmas coming, I decided to clear some space today. Two closets and one wedding video later, Nathan and I couldn't stop laughing - seeing how young everyone was, some seriously legendary moves happening on the dance floor, underage me taking a sip of champagne and shaking my head in what I assume was disgust, hearing your marriage advice for us, and remembering how solid our friend group was at the time. {It makes me sad to write 'at the time'.}

I knew then that it would change. We were all going different ways, some of us graduating, moving, getting promoted, getting engaged, married, buying homes...having babies. I know now, that change is natural, inevitable, but as with many things, my heart is slow to learn. Knowing it's inevitable doesn't change how memories affect you. Merely 'knowing it' doesn't ease the bittersweetness or the sting of nostalgia. 

Adulthood and parenthood changes you; your life is no longer about you. Evenings, vacations, and days off are spent fixing dryers, telling stories, and rocking tiny people back to sleep. There are many, many sleepless nights and showerless days. The phone is used less for texting and more for its calendar and alarm. Shopping, eating out, concerts, and movies are rare and eagerly anticipated. Extra money, free time, and travel become just terms on paper, elusive, said only after the words 'one day'. New shoes are a once a year thing, and we have come to love hand-me-downs and second-hand stores. While I used to see 3-5 movies p/week, I now see one once every few months. If that. Nope, probably not even that often.

Point being, more often than not, parents either exchange or shelf their own hobbies and interests {for just a short sweet time} in order to be with their kids. To love them, invest in them, guide them, and help them grow into the people they are going to be. And it's worth it! Don't get me wrong; I miss my friends. I miss last minute plans, spontaneity, buying plane tickets, and just being dumb from time to time. I miss shenanigans at IHOP, and I miss seeing movies that start later than 7:45. But this is precious time... and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

So let me be the first to apologize to you, dear friend. For every time I didn't call or text or message you back. For not visiting. For missing important events, even cards, gifts and phone calls. For running late, for forgetting {or never scheduling} coffee or lunch dates. For not getting together enough. For not being there for you. For making excuses, and for the times ahead where I will still fail. Please forgive me in this season. Know that you left a mark on my life, and that you are dearly, dearly loved.

If you don't see yourself, it's because I lost a lot of pictures when I got my new phone. 

Would you pretty please send me some?

I would love a Cinemark or Utah flashback :)

Come visit us! 

I don't even go to bed until, like 8. So... plenty of time to build a fort in the living room, tell scary stories, take a bunch of selfies, then eat pancakes.