Between conviction, circumstances, and when your only spiritual creds are that you are a ridiculously sinful person saved by an infinitely more merciful God - - it prompts you to write things like this.
I needed a reminder tonight.
Bitterness and grudge-holding is often wrapped up in both pride and envy, nasty things with titanium grade roots {how much stronger do I make them when I'm nursing them to grow? Fostering them and encouraging them rather than cutting them off? J. Crider, Genesis this week}. In John chapter 17 (v. 11, 20-23), Jesus speaks repeatedly of His desire for His Church to be 'one'. That's the point of writing this, and it's the only point in sharing it.
Bitterness bites like a snake. This venom is familiar, but I'm determined to not let it make its way through my bloodstream this time; I believe it is possible by God's grace to survive a snake bite.
First, ask yourself: am I bitter? What if it's more than rough feelings, or irritation, or "oh, I just don't like them". With difficult people, stormy interactions, falling outs, un-aired grievances, etc. ... instead of resorting to avoidance or immediate blame-shift {duh, I'm awesome. It's obviously their fault....(um....what's up Pride!}, first perform a heart check. God, deal with me! You see all of this - way more clearly than I do. Where am I sinning? It's only between you and Him in the end anyways, right? From experience, He is generally quick to answer these kinds of prayers, where we are grieved and He is already wanting to grow and change us.
Secondly, genuinely grieve over your sin. It's not something that can be fabricated or manufactured, like, "I acknowledge there is an area of sin in my life, and I am now going to be sad over this". It's not this robotic head-only knowledge (if you even make it to the point where you realize you are sinning). You were created to feel too, and that's okay.
To grieve over your sin, and want to turn from it, you either get that you have sinned or you don't, and you're either remorseful over what you've done, or you're not. It's painfully simple. Has your sin ever made you truly sad ? Sick? That's the beginning of repentance. Repent, and then seek forgiveness. Remember that scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? " Only a penitent man will pass?" You can pass this faith test.
If our sin cuts like a blade, kneel. It's humility; it's required.
Because I've been sick-nasty-bitter towards someone(s) before, I hope this helps.
You may be bitter towards someone if:
*You think about them, see them, or their name comes up in conversation and you instantly cringe, grimace, scoff, or express anger, envy, or disappointment.
*You don't have nice thoughts about them.
*Because of this^, it naturally follows that you don't have any nice things to say about them.
*You are quick to note their hypocrisy and short-comings, which validates (in your mind) why they don't receive {deserve} your respect, attention, love, or affection.
*You align yourself with people who, non-surprisingly, feel the same way - even subconsciously.
*You have consistent feelings/attitudes of anger, passive aggression, ill-will, discontentedness, contempt, or even bewilderment as to why your relationship "isn't working" or "isn't easy".
I don't know about you, but I read the perspective of this^ person {me at times!}, and I'm like, "who do you think you are?" Through all of this though, through all of our gunk, God reaches for pride-filled people. Isn't He awesome!
Some of us hold on to these things so tight, like our hands are white-knuckled fists around these things that happened decades ago, things that make us sick. And the hard truth is, it's sometimes easier to hold on to them than it is to let them go. It's easier to hold than to release. Something is easier than nothing, a steadfast outline is easier to grasp than freedom. Our spiritual reliance, walk, and freedom in Christ is completely counter-intuitive to how we function in our flesh. Oh, how we need Him!
Lastly,
*You remember specific "bitterness-making" times, events, and interactions in your life and allow them to fester in your thought-life. {Are you scarred? Take that pain to the Healer. Let. it. go. And if you can't let it go, ask Him for supernatural help. Believe! Is nothing too hard for Him?}
The anti-venom:
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
Ephesians 4:31-32
Remember:
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Matthew 6:14-15
Am I unforgiving?
"Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled."
Hebrews 12:14-15
Tattoo it on your heart, Lex:
"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses."
Proverbs 10:12
I am not going to hate you.
The final blow:
"If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless."
James 1:26
{Unresolved anger is the catalyst for bitterness.}
You must change.
The cross is the ultimate symbol and call for reconciliation.
You must be reconciled - if not tangibly, at least in your heart.
The cross is the ultimate symbol and call for reconciliation.
You must be reconciled - if not tangibly, at least in your heart.
Leave your anger at the cross before it eats you alive.
Even old hurts - even aged anger.
Anger does not get better with age; it turns sour.
Give it to Him before it uncoils at your feet and rears for the strike.
Anger does not get better with age; it turns sour.
Give it to Him before it uncoils at your feet and rears for the strike.
Before anger metastasizes into full-blown bitterness.
Life is too short to be bitter.
Freedom awaits.
Life is too short to be bitter.
Freedom awaits.
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| Ann Voskamp |