Lessons & Lies

Taste - Justin Jarvis

Here is the mixed bag of lessons He's given me lately. Some are from Him for me, and others are what I see going on around me.

1. You can have conviction, but it should always be rooted in love. Love is the foundation for any good quality you want to have {all in aligning our character to His (Romans 12:2)}.

{Humility, gentleness, patience, kindness, compassion, and friendliness.} 

Not to mention the other fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23.

Conviction/Passion is never an excuse to be a jerk about what you believe, even inadvertantly. Think of who has been entrusted to you, and of just how much Jesus loved His church. This will motivate us to love {and will naturally smooth out any rough edges}.

Ephesians 4:2-3

2. Flattery is not the same as encouragement. Be careful with your words, even the seemingly good ones, because above everything else, you're speaking to someone's heart.

3. Sometimes we say completely stupid and untrue things, and when we're cringing and shaking our heads later on, it seems like it's easier to be forgiven by others for our faults {or to forgive others for theirs} than to forgive ourselves. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and move forward, or our faith is a lie.

4. Be careful and protect your heart when it comes to dating - when they say they like you, or you think you like them, remember - Jesus is your first love. I can say this with authority, because I've failed {and then grown, and continue to grow} in allowing Jesus to be the absolute core of my life. Everything should stem from and flow out of the idea that Jesus is your first love, the center, or core of your life. So it goes: Jesus, then romantic interest/future spouse, then friends, then career/aspirations/dreams/goals, etc. The order may look different for each person, but pay attention to who/what takes up the first spot.

5. Along with #4, sometimes they don't like you. They just like that you like them.

6. Lie: you are alone in your battle.

"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it." - - 1 Corinthians 10:13, Message

"Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith." - - 1 Peter 5:9, Message

"Your grace is a dream I cannot shake/taste and see/it's sweeter than anything"

7. Lie: you can't be used by God because of your past, your sins, or your present battle.

"Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don’t see many of “the brightest and the best” among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn't it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these “nobodies” to expose the hollow pretensions of the “somebodies”? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ...” - - 1 Corinthians 1:27-31, Message

"Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."

- - 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Message

8. Pray for any lie, deceit, or hypocrisy in you, as a leader, as a teacher, as a parent, as a brother... to be exposed and then annihilated. I'm praying this presently, and He's answering me. The answers strip down and reveal just how deep my depravity runs. Deeper still, I see my need for Jesus, and at the bottom, a vast endless sea of steadfast love.

10/4 Thought

I had a thought this morning, thinking about my friendships throughout the years.

Some come for a season, then go entirely, leaving only memories and lessons to sift through.

Some are timeless... the kind where we move, say 'I do', have babies, and form new friendships that never replace the old.


Some are blossoming for the first time, others after a long winter... still others fading.

Some never take root {and were never meant to}. It's a hard lesson to let people go, or really, to let go of the hold they have over you... to simply cut ties and walk, when everything in you wants (or wanted) the opposite.

I don't know if it's ever right, or justified, or biblical to just give up. When we're loved with unfailing love and charged to love others in the same way. When we want unity, maturity, and to walk upright in truth, preferably together. When we want lasting friendships that ultimately point to Him.

But I also know that running toward a wrong thing is like walking backwards. A moot point.

 {So for now, I don't want to necessarily let go of you, but reach all the more for Him.}

Serving and loving a God who multiplies the things He takes away, even when it's painful to pull away, even when we don't understand the 'how' or 'why'... will end well, for our good and for His glory (Romans 8:28).

Why I Love Youth Ministry

Why I Love Youth Ministry

To preface, hanging out with teenagers is awesome; working for God's glory - together - is awesome. Discipling, building up, praying for, sending out, inviting in, teaching and learning from young people is awesome. You can say it... everything {youth} is awesome!

I'll admit... a lot of the time I'm like: 

and when they use words like 'bae' my face goes:

and in our group, I'm the one who's like:

"WHATUUUUP, iss time to WORSHIP."

and by the time I'm finally in on the # thing, it's a dead art form. So when I # things, it's like:

And even though I fully utilize the unholy social media trinity (FB, Twitter, Instagram, what's up), I'm still behind because, hello Tumblr, Snapchat, Flickipedia. Oh. You haven't heard of Flickipedia? Pffsh. It's new; no big. Just a movie encyclopedia thing... y'know...for your phone...and your brain... patent pending. {And I'm still out for using a word like 'utilize'!} << SMH

Here are my Top Reasons why I Love Youth Ministry (or Why Youth Ministry is Awesome):

... #enjoy.

1. The Games/Food of Sunday Nights: Sundays. On no other night would I find it awesome, or even remotely permissable ("inconceivable!") to stuff myself full of pizza rolls immediately after running barefoot through a sometimes dark parking lot chasing a frisbee (or person/volleyball/Nerf dart/other kind of ball/bandana/bag of colored powder/etc.) Nausea? Bueller? Anybody? Basically, we eat a lot of junk, and chase after a lot of stuff. Not the least of these being, Jesus. #boom #transitions

2. Jesus: in/with youth, we do a lot of learnin'/lovin'/livin' Jesus. It doesn't get much better than that. Throughout the week too, our house is youth open-house. And that's awesome.

3. Activities/Retreats/Mission Trips: Youth ministry is just FUN. 'Nough said.

4. You Can Be Silly/Yourself and it's Not Weird: There's definitely a genuine 'celebrate each person for who they are' kind of vibe in youth. Everyone accepts each other. And that's awesome.

4. The People: To each of you, I pray for you, and I love you; we are in it together.

5. Vision and Hope: The main reason why I love youth ministry revolves around who Jesus is, who He calls us to be in Him, and how young people are seemingly so readily hard-wired for this. For the most part, young people are the passionate, go-getters of the church. Youth believe like how we ought to believe, approaching Jesus with open hands, excited and ready for what He will do, and how He will move. Youth believe, and they act on these beliefs. 

It looks like, "I really believe nothing is impossible with You, Lord!"

 "I believe God is going to change this; I believe You are who You say You are!"

It's a fervent, unified battle cry: "I LOVE the LORD!" 

It's that kind of powerful, raw faith that moves mountains.

"You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Matthew 17:20

Throughout 1 Samuel, especially chapter 17, I circled every time David was called (or discredited as being) a 'youth' or 'just a youth'. It makes me {lol} and reveals how awesome our God is, that He has always chosen (and continues to choose) those who we would vote 'least likely to succeed'. Because David, chosen by God, ('just a youth'), goes on to slay a giant.

It's that mustard-seed sized, underdog kind of faith you find in Youth, and it should become an epidemic. The youths of our church, of the church worldwide, are vital people with fiery faith, with purpose and destiny written all over them. Youth is not 'big church in training', and young people are not just a bunch of cast-off's/misfits (a beautiful reminder, not an exhortation).

"Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

I started walking with God seriously when I was 17, after my own 'youth' was nearly over. I see now how God redeemed this lost time, however, giving me youth ministry (and parenting) training while working in a movie theater. I worked for Cinemark theaters from age 16-22, in 3 theaters across 2 states, working alongside other teens, and then managing teens as a young adult. All throughout this time, I was racking up valuable skills, not knowing they were rapidly gaining divine interest in the bank. Also at this time, and early in my walk with Jesus, I noticed I was always among the youngest, if not the youngest, at conferences and in bible studies. I also noticed there were never very many of 'us', young people, amongst a sea of older believers. I believed then {as I believe now} that this dichotomy needed to change. I know now, our God is the master-agent of change, and even now He is rallying and raising up young people across the globe for His purposes and for His glory, a tribe of radical, young, idealistic believers who want to make His name famous {and age, doesn't really matter - you can be 103 with young, idealistic faith!}. I want to help light and then pass this torch of revival to the upcoming generations. I want to be a part of this dynamic movement, to help strengthen young people in their faith and in their zeal, right where they're at, so that it carries over into adulthood.

Simply put, I want to be {and motivate others to be} world changers.

With <3 - Lex 'just a youth' Webb

#therealme

{Who am I? What gives me worth?} The plight of teenagers, twenty-somethings, and anyone who has ever wandered or felt displaced. For centuries, it's been the stuff of books and songs, then movies.

{What defines me? What am I really wrapped up in?}
Friends, followers, taste...words? Is it what they call me; how they see me?

Satan, and His influence on the world, seek to combat and crush the Truth inside of you, one believed lie at a time.

In Him, you are so much more than a carelessly slapped-on label, more than a genre, more than a body in a clique. Hold fast against lies, even when they feel like truths, within the unfailing armor He provided you {Ephesians 6:10-18}. Expose darkness with light {5:11}, and ask your Father, "Who do you say I am?" Who better to clarify who you are than the One who made you?

I am who I AM says I am.

             {See, #therealme never had anything to do with me. The real "me" was always about Him.}

Each label I attach to myself {or believe about myself}, that's not from Him or for Him, is another stone in the altar of 'self'.

"I am" leads to idolatry; I AM declared "it is finished." I have been ransomed. I am taken. I am Loved.

In Him, I have new Boldness. Confidence. Drive. Purpose. Destiny. Urgency. I am not characterized any longer by my flaws or by my shortcomings. I am no longer characterized by insecurity, timidity, or anxiety, rather through these weaknesses, my God is illuminated all the more. Where I am weak; He is strong {2 Corinthians 12:10}. I have all of the affection and affirmation I will ever need; they are no longer sought after in dark places. He is the source, the fuel, the light, the passion - the Craftsman whose handiwork is excellent, and a continuously carefully tended to work-in-progress {Philippians 1:6}.

Being His, #therealme, is where purpose and faith catch fire.

A House Divided Cannot Stand

billygraham.org

This is a plea. When we are divided in any way (frustrated, pacing, praying, talking, arguing, planning, plotting, avoiding, bystanding, keeping silent...) I picture Satan observing from a corner, just listening and watching, nodding, saying... "look what I've done". Dissension amongst believers and friends is his brand of chaos, to render His church sidetracked and ineffective to the world that needs it.

It's not even enough to say 'don't be influenced', or 'think for yourself', over a loud minority, because sometimes our 'self' can't see clearly either; our hearts and how we 'feel' are not indicative of the reality of things, (Jeremiah 17:9) not at all. With 'talk', and potential harm within the body, for me and for you, please, ask Your Father first, for clarity, for help. Let's trust God; trust what He says, His character; begin looking for how He thinks; then match and conform our thinking to His (Romans 12:2), swapping our behavior for His. Seek Truth.

"Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them."

Ephesians 5:11

We are brothers, we are sisters; we are a family. I guess it's okay, easy, and even good for some of us still here to be able to say, "it's okay. Let that go, let them go. God will move us forward; don't think about it." But for me, in that, I see a dark path I don't want to walk down. It's where firestarters go to become mummified. Where young, zealous, passionate believers gradually become encased in their own cynicism and weird forms of pride, disguised as 'experience'. Where rich, soft, teachable soil goes to die. It was like a vision into my future, a warning. I don't ever want to ignore, forget, marginalize, or minimize Your commands to love You and to love my brothers, and to exemplify the first by the latter. Keep me near your heart, God; keep me with You! I won't listen when they tell me to harden up! I'd rather feel the weight of this a hundred times over, every single time, in the moments of this glorious walk together, and break over it, than harden myself to it.

Words wound (James 1:26, 3:2-10, 4:11, Proverbs 15:4, 17:9, Titus 3:1-2), and it's a check for all of us.

And maybe these words sting too, because what You've created here is my home. It's where and how You brought me back to you, through the body, not a building. It's where You gave me growing pains, it's taking first steps, learning to ride a bike, growing up together on this messy, holy ground. It's where I was married, where my babies slept and made their first friends. Where we learn together, and teach together, and fall down together, and 'get back up again' (Proverbs 24:16) together. A hundred times over, it's grace.

Personal conviction: {We are not called to jump ship; we are called to drop anchor.}

There may be problems; there may be big problems, and hurts, and lack, and weakness, and apathy, ignorance, pride...it's okay, keep going! The list of issues could go for miles, in and out of many rooms, trailing down the hall, and out the front door of this broken House.

But God loves broken. Anything redeemed reveals evidence of His presence and faithfulness to us: His penmanship, His fingerprints, His ownership over these beautifully flawed works in progress, each church, each person. Please wait, please be patient. Please give more grace, please remain faithful.

Please...

Pray. (Philippians 4:6, James 5:16, Colossians 4:2, Hebrews 4:16). Pray for your leaders. Meet with them. Encourage them. Then, keep praying. Meet with each other, lovingly confront. Never give up; He doesn't!

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

Romans 8:26-27

Stay unified.

Love each other.

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you not look only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Philippians 2:1-4

"Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future."

Ephesians 4:1-4

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:35

"Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you."

2 Corinthians 13:11

Born of God - Jesus Culture

Living/Loving/Passionately

I don't know how to get more passion. I know more how to get caught or how to get your toes stubbed on the corner of door frames. I do know, from experience, that if you want to live passionately, you have to live carefully.

When you feel and believe in things strongly, it's like walking along the edge of a knife. You can do it, but you risk slipping and getting cut. You risk disappointment and getting burned out, but any risks are also heavily outweighed by the potential of living passionately. You can live motivated and be a motivator. You can live encouraged and be an encourager. {Realizing too, that intensity, emotion and how you 'feel' are not the height or the crux of your faith.} You can feel strongly, but you have to make sure it's all in focus.

Source - {what you're passionate about} - Target

Passion is an inherently emotionally charged state, therefore it is inherently unstable. Passion needs a steady, unchanging source and target in order for it to be profitable and invigorating. God is the only one who is steady and unchanging; He will give you your passions and the strength to carry them out, outlined within His plan for your life. He needs to be the fuel and the end target of your passions if you want fire. Without God, our passion is just intense intentions, a flame that never catches, leaving you pacing, frustrated, and ultimately unfulfilled. I want fiery faith for myself that lasts, and I want it for you too. Not "Oh, she's on fire for God {for now}" or "she was on fire earlier in her life". No. I've prayed for God to hold on to me, to never let me gradually slip into lukewarm water, to never let my heart gradually harden towards Him, to not get comfortable or jaded. I need to need Jesus, know Jesus, love Jesus, live Jesus.

You can be passionate about acting, but that is not from or for you. You can be passionate about fly-fishing, or coin collecting, or bowling, or your kids, or various causes, or your various areas of ministry. But these are not from or for you. {Your talents, aspirations, and gifts are all from Him and for Him, His Kingdom, His purposes.} I have slipped off the knife when either the source or the target of my passions have been misaligned. I have tried to be passionate about God while bypassing His Word or His strength (tell me how that one works). I've also cut myself by becoming more passionate about Godly ideas or people, rather than God Himself. The result both times has been pain. {Growth. Distance. Self-Preservation. Then grace which felt like washing all of it down a sink. Point being, God will use and redeem anything; even our 'gunk'. And it's not without apologies; when my messy walk has collided negatively with yours... I'm sorry. God is working and walking it out in me.}

Passion fueled by and for God gets you somewhere. It's the bottom plane of the contraption that will "launch you into your God-given destiny" (Christine Caine). There are other parts that lead you to your destiny in Christ, but I believe passion given by and for Him is the foundation. Life is a gift from Him; everything He gives to you is from Him. Why not worship and live for Him? Apathetic Christians... I don't think there's a greater oxymoron.

{Revelation 3:16}

It's noticeable, and it's perplexing. We are passionate. We get excited by and intensely focused on many things, but often these things we focus on are not the right things, nor are they the substantial or long-lasting things. And then we wonder why our faith is tired, boring, weak, fruitless, and God is seemingly far from us. We do get fired up... but over sports, celebrities, TV shows, new album releases, concerts, promotions, trips, the next 'big thing', church stuff, ministry stuff, or my personal snare, other people. These are good things, but they're not God things. We're meant to enjoy the world's things, we can't live beyond the world when we were created to live IN the world. But her stuff can't be the center of it all. We need a higher plane of thinking. Without God at the heart of it, what is the point? What is the meaning? How can we re-direct a burning fire?

I believe we're not passionate about God's things, because we're still wrapped up in the wrong things. They consume us. They distract us. The greatest 'thing' has already come and gone; the best and the 'highest' made Himself low, bleeding reconciliation with each beat - the ultimate expression of what it means to be passionate, what it looks like to live and love passionately. The second definition for passion in the dictionary is "the suffering and death of Jesus", only after "a strong and barely controllable emotion". This man, Jesus, came and lived on earth, and died for you, His love, in order to be with you again, and left us not only His example, but the strongest, most passion-filled commandment to live by: love God, love people. Do you want to live a full life? Do you want to love fiercely? Love God, love people {and then pray for His protection! That is some intense, vulnerable living.}

See, if you're walking with God, He doesn't want to be just one of your passions; He already is the Passion. The center, wanting to be your center, like a nucleus. He doesn't want to be just another thing thrown into the laundry, a 'thing' you do a few times a week, another activity, another task. He's intense; He wants all of you, all of your time, all of your focus, all of your dedication, all of your energy, to be all you desire, and to be the only one that you love. And He was willing to die for you to have that. That's passion.

Yes, make plans. Go to school. Seek Godly counsel. Wait and pray for your future spouse. Get that job. Work hard. Make money. Save it up. Give it away. Join a cause. Raise your voice.

Now, try again with a perspective shift, infused with passion, with God at the center:

Go to school for Him. Seek Godly counsel because it's all about Him. Wait for Him. Get that job for Him. Work for Him. Use your money, time, and talents for Him. Join the cause for Him. Raise your voice for Him.

Your life is not about you; it never was! You are not supposed to be the source or the target of your passion(s); you can't sustain it. 'Us' in charge leads to disappointment and ultimate purposelessness. Your God is good, the highest, the strongest, and He is trustworthy. He can handle all of you; You can trust Him to fully take the reins from your hands. So let go. He knows you, He loves you, and He's for you (Romans 8:31). Put Him as the center, and watch how your life and faith ignite.

Have you heard this song?

Center of It All - Desperation Band



Lastly, when it comes to passion, my girl says it best. Seriously, make watching this one a priority!
Christine Caine Passion 2014

Love Never Fails

I've been home for four days now, and I'm still asking God to piece together this post for me. On my own it feels impossible to sift through a mountain of moments and experiences, each weighted and powerful, somehow trying to connect strings between things that, for now, float freely. But I'm not on my own, God. You give meaning to moments; it's You who builds understanding; it's You who can take a life and radically transform it, all by your choosing, your grace. God, You never let go; You never fail, and for this {for who You are}, I praise You; I'm grateful, honored, consistently amazed. Lord, I love You.

This week, God had specific work for us at the same church we visited last year, Fuego de Dios, in the heart of an impoverished community in Ensenada, Mexico. It showed up in a pile of dirt; in the faces of children, on bare walls in a church, and in the soil of tired hearts; both Mexican and American. Tired, from trying to live life apart from Him, tired in knowing Him intellectually but rarely experientially, and sometimes tired by the sheer monotony of 'faith' altogether.

God swept through His people this week, leaving behind Him a wake of bewilderment, then awe, and the beginnings for personal transformation. I believe one of my prominent roles this week was simply to watch all of this unfold. In observing, I felt Him say, "I love you", and I am forever grateful and changed by this.

It was a privilege and a blessing to be a part of our team this year, to watch our kids grow in their compassion for each other, and in their relationships with God. Here's what I saw; I saw you, and I saw God working in and through you. Through uncertainty, anxiety, and not knowing 'your place', God met you and said 'you're good, I'll use you'. I saw you speaking Spanish, kids hugging your legs, your character in the midst of pain, your face in the candlelight as you were prayed over in your re-commitment to the Lord. I saw you when you cracked awkward jokes, and were accepted anyways, pulled into the group, belonging. I saw your humor and how funny you are. You too, who will always be a bit of a mystery to me. I will remember how you looked and how we felt when you went into the water, public declarations and the light in you that turned heads and made people talk. He sees you where you are. I can tell you He's trustworthy, but ultimately it is between you and  Him, and it's your choice alone to follow Him. I hope you will; He loves you. When you washed their feet, and nothing ever looked more like humility. When you helped make it beautiful, painting both little faces and the walls of the church, sealing it with scripture, words that the Pastor preached and that meant something to us too. When we heard 'amen, amen' and it sounded different than ours, but it showed that prayer is universal, and that God's word transcends culture and language. There were new friends, and inside jokes, and tacos, and every mystery of what the human body can do discussed. And frequently ;) Hands raised, people standing, commitments renewed, vows made to follow Him, no matter where He takes us. Fears addressed, breakthroughs in God healing past hurts, or reconciling personalities in becoming more like His. From gossip to grace, from misunderstanding to compassion. From having everything to seeing what nothing looks like. We experienced it, and He was glorified.

Worshiping God under the stars in Mexico is an experience that is hard to rival, in my opinion. The music, and more importantly God's truths within the lyrics, combined with our experiences, His timing, and the words of our speaker were powerful. And that's an understatement. Our speaker for the trip, Steve Pinto, is gifted and talented. I'm thankful for him, that he presents truths in a relevant way for young people. I'm also thankful for his God-infused words that both strengthened us sending us out, and comforted us welcoming us back each day. This pattern of beginning and ending each day with God's Word is ideal; I want to bring it home and make it mine.

The theme of the week was Love Never Fails, pulled from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away."

Lately, 'love' has felt a little more sour in my mouth, a little more bitter going down, a little more sarcastic coming out, a little more ill-defined, and a little more seemingly misrepresented. The reason for this comes down to something painfully simple - that when something ('love' in this case) is clearly defined by God, but is blurred or watered down somehow by the world, there's a palpable inconsistency and incongruity to it. I don't believe there is a single Christian, past/present/future, who has been/is/or ever will be immune to this blurring. I don't. And it's because while yes, our souls are saved and becoming sanctified, our flesh is not. It stays the same, and we're stuck in it - as it rots and sinks within us, under the weight of new life, transformed thought, and a new spirit with wings. The only natural outcome of these conflicting forces is... unrest. And so I've thought a lot about the word 'love', and what it means. I think this is why I've been so detached and unfeeling lately... love doesn't mean what we 'feel' like it should... even for Christians, who maybe have had His Word etched into them for a long time. This is what happens when we let the world and her definitions infiltrate our hearts or captivate our thinking. It hurts and warps our desires. See, if I start to believe that love is a state of being, or a feeling, I'm bound to be disappointed, because all feelings fade. If I start to believe that love is the point of life, yes even as a Christian with Godly intent, I'm bound to be heart-broken, because love on its own dies. If I start to look to others for love, or affection, or even affirmation, I will always have that lingering ache I've come to resent. Listen, 'you' do not affirm you; your spouse does not affirm you, your pastor, your teacher, your friend; they can't affirm you. They are human, therefore they are weak, therefore on their own, they will fail you. Familial love fails. Friendships fail. Romantic love fails. Love on its own, fails. Love, as an idea or even as an action, on its own, is not enough. Love, as a person, is.

This is love; God loved you, yes you, so much, that He couldn't stand to be apart from you. He sent Jesus to bridge the gap of darkness and sickness that separates you from Him, by allowing Him to die in your place. See, we all deserve death before a Holy God (Romans 3:23). But that same God, who knew we would fail in our frailty, gave us His self-sustaining, unfailing love: Jesus. His heart beats reconciliation; that is romance, that is love. And so, it's the personhood of Jesus Christ, the ultimate expression of God's love, that will never fail you. It is Jesus who affirms you and makes you whole. His affection and love are enough. Jesus will never fail you. His love never fails. Jesus never fails.

This entire trip, this year, my life so far... He's been trying to tell me this. To pursue me, to convince me that He's enough. And I have spent this time until now accepting it with my mind, confessing and professing it with my lips, living my life for Him under a brand-new white banner, and yet not even come close to fully grasping His love for me. I grabbed a handful of sand on the beach this week, and tried to imagine how often He thinks of me, of just how much He loves me. Maybe it will take a lifetime. That is how far-reaching, how vast, how deep His love is for us. And it's not just His love for us; God's love through us is the solution in every situation, the cure-all, the antidote. On our own, we fail. But God's love in and through us, never fails.

I drew this a couple of days ago, and kept the erased attempts on purpose. All other loves fade, but His love is relentless.

Another lesson I learned deals with the concept of 'passion'. Passionately is how God pursued us, with fire, great intent, genuine love. It's bold faith. But loving others passionately, like Jesus did, is like walking along the blade of a knife in our current state. Passion needs both a source and a target in order for it to go anywhere. God should be both the source and end target of our passion(s). When either of these is out of sync, we can expect to get cut. When our passions are misdirected, or when God is not the source of our passion, we can also expect burn out.

Also, God broke a lot of my fear, timidity, and self-consciousness on this trip. He told me, and it's so simple, that He made me; therefore I'm good. Believing anything else about myself (barring sinfulness or fleshly stuff that needs to be rooted out) is like telling the Creator His Creation was a mistake, that it's not good enough, or that it needs work. Luckily, God loves weak people, and He never stops working in them. Fear is a huge snare for me. Earlier this year, I compared pride to cancer, and this comparison has me thinking again. If pride is the cancer of Christianity, then fear is like muscular atrophy. There are a wide variety of causes and factors that lead to this, but most often it's due to either injury, infection, or simply put - lack of use. The spiritual parallels here are no different. Fear is what infects us, injures us, and often leads to spiritual paralysis. When we shrink back, shrivel up, hide, or try to minimize our God-given identity in Christ, we forfeit our destiny, abdicate our place in God's tapestry, and ultimately, Satan wins. Personally, I'm not giving him that victory anymore.
















"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Philippians 1:6

I'm grateful, moved, changed, and not alone in this. I'm thankful for the work God did in and through us in Mexico. I'm reminded of His love for us, and it gives me hope.

Calling on Fire - Bellarive

Your Love Never Fails - Jesus Culture

One Thing Remains - Kristian Stanfill

Relentless - Hillsong

Set Me Free - Worship Central