Motives and Fruit

 Something God has me thinking about in this season is how it's so easy to evaluate, take a quick snapshot, and make a judgment.

Only God can truly see and judge. I think of when He spoke to Samuel, concluding, "The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

I feel strongly you and I can't measure the motives of a heart - not even close - but we can look at the fruit of a life.

Please consider this the next time you're evaluating ... anything. Or anyone. Only God sees, knows, and rewards what is lifted up to Him in secret, and you and I, friend, know nothing about it.

What Can Keep a Man Good?

"So .. how can an average person take down a pedophile?" These are the thoughts I have, typing them into an imaginary search engine, half kidding, half losing it. I'm also wondering if this delves into vigilanteism. "Seriously, if our legal system is broken, the government is broken, our leaders are broken, paid off or at worst in on all of it - what can we do? I mean, really, we, as in, the people, what can we do?" I pull away from the screen, sit for a minute, and shut the laptop, ignoring the stinging behind my eyes.

Like you, I'm tired of waiting. The headlines don't seem to go down quite as easy, churning up acid every time I reach for my son to change his diaper or his shirt, knowing for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction in this world, with however many less-innocent solicitations going on all of the time, and aside from prayer, which I believe is VERY powerful, I'm powerless to stop it. It's like when the player reaches the end of a record, but instead of a carefree heart, ready to put the next one on with the swish of her dress and a cocktail in-hand - there's just an endless muffled scratch.

How long, Lord? What can keep a man "good" apart from you?

We look to the courts for justice - for the judge to accurately interpret law in order to enact a punishment fitting of its crime. We trust this process. I guess I'm asking you - what if the only true judge is God, and we've abandoned Him? Why not return to the One who created what is truly true and what is truly just?

I think in our heart of hearts, we understand that these things do not begin or end with us. How could they? Left to our own inventions, where is the world? One quick scroll through Facebook alludes to our collective longing for justice in this world, but it's equally telling how we also won't define right and wrong. So justice becomes elusive, and the cycles keep cycling, and we wonder why we're frustrated, cynical or numb.

Remember the minor prophets as you read any of this, the Psalmists, Ecclesiastes. It's important to cry out to God in all things - especially the things we tend to hide from others, even ourselves. The bare, unearthed seedy, pit of a man's heart, created from dust - it's what He wants and it's what He holds. To long for God to return, to beg Him not to delay any longer in delivering what's just, when the perpetrator seems to repeatedly get off, when people are still inventing, after all of this time, new ways of being all kinds of awful to each other - to wonder & to maybe ask - if He's even there at all. He can take it.

I need Your mercy and patience, God. Create a clean heart in me - create YOU in me, yes - but I would be lying if I said it didn't feel too far from me, too unattainable. I'm not like you, God. When babies are being abused, slaughtered. Sold. I want justice now. For You so Loved the world .. but right now I really hate it.

Even so - especially so - come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you. Psalm 89:14

They Will Dream Dreams

I'm a doer. I've never been good at being still, to take information in & just sit on it. Glancing at our phones a million times a day, sifting through information overload with no practical outlet - I'm just not good at it. I'm convinced it's not healthy. The amount of access we have. I don't want to sit & wring my hands & fuss. For me, it's always been - if there's an issue, fix it.

With all that is happening in the world, I've asked God over & over - what will You have me do? In my tiny corner of the world, with very little in open hands - what will You have me do?

When I think of the prophets, often they were given only a handful of visions or statements to record & then their service was done. Ezekiel had six. I have one.

A few years ago, I snapped awake from a dream that was so lucid & disturbing; I knew it was from the Lord (& I am not quick to say that, because I take it seriously).

I was driving west on one of the main streets in my hometown - a shopping center on the left-hand side of the road, a pre-school, then bank & convenience store on the right.

The sky was what you probably think of when you think apocalyptic. Reds streaked through a cloudless sky, everything hued in amber, but not warm or uplifting. The air was heavy, dark & all elements around me were shaded in varying tones of black.

Looking out each side of my car, I was driving in a river of blood, and the blood was rushing toward the mountains. There were abandoned cars on all sides of the road. People were standing nearby, some shielding their eyes looking up in bewilderment, others calling out in mass hysteria & confusion. There were also dead horses & bodies all along the side of the road & scattered in the shopping center's parking lot. There were arrows sticking out of the horses, & many of the bodies were missing heads.

Just as I started to panic in the dream, I heard a loud voice say: "War is coming. I need my People to be ready."

And my eyes snapped open.

I have never had a dream before or after, on the scale of this one. I don't dream about God. I don't dream spiritual dreams. This was three or four years ago. I have asked the Lord, since then, to confirm it for me or to send another dream, but He hasn't.

Please don't mishear me. I don't think I am a prophet, or that my dream is on the same level as Scripture, but I also don't discount Scripture, the words of Joel, echoed by Peter in Acts when they said:

"In the last days, God says,
    I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
    your young men will see visions,
    your old men will dream dreams.
Even on my servants, both men and women,
    I will pour out my Spirit in those days,
    and they will prophesy.
I will show wonders in the heavens above
    and signs on the earth below,
    blood and fire and billows of smoke.
The sun will be turned to darkness
    and the moon to blood
    before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord."

So why mention this, & why now? It's because the verse goes on:

"And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

One-sided

On this frosty holiday, I have to admit that one-sided friendships are the trickiest kind.

I think often "oh I should ask them that", "I wonder how they're doing", or "they'll have great thoughts on this" only to be returned with one word answers and a disproportionate level of interest.

Who loathes themself so much as to try to continue a relationship with a ghost?

The pull

Something cultural I've been kind of watching, and find myself, even now, just resisting in my spirit, is the idea that it's ok to sum people up as "toxic" and consequently throw them away, or whatever we define as 'no longer serving us' (I'm not talking clinical personality disorders here, I'm talking the flippancy of it - you said something mean, or that I don't agree with, therefore you are toxic, therefore I'm justified in ghosting you.) Aren't we all a little toxic? We all need grace for our faults, not to be labeled and thrown out like week old meat.

(We all need grace.)

This is just one reason why I am a Christian (despite it being a wildly unpopular path). Think of the rebellion of Jesus. Jesus didn't play by the rules. He upset culture. Confronted it. People didn't know what to do with Him. He couldn't be labeled or shoved in a box. Thrown in the trash. Christianity - the real, unscrewed up, if everyone modeled it perfectly, Biblical Christianity - is uniquely distinguished amongst other religions and belief systems by GRACE - the idea that we get what we don't deserve. <Who does that???> We can't earn it, it's not based on how good or bad we are, or the things we do or don't do; with Christianity it's - we literally have no other card to play - but Jesus. Maybe that needs to be emphasized more.

Jesus holds sick people close, and we are all sick. It's the human condition. Have you ever thought of it that way? That maybe it's not hypocrisy you see but the human condition? I've seen the human condition inside and outside of the church.

Culture can do whatever they want with Christianity, they will and they do; the church will do what it wants with Christianity, it will and it does, and even now, the Church, Jesus' Bride is crying out in the same key as the world, for things to be made right, for justice, but none of anything we see unfolding holds a candle to the love and teachings of Jesus Himself.

His Love is unstoppable. He pursues even the weakest, most distant, angry, lonely, broken, the darkest, the most far gone, the most sociopathic, the most indoctrinated, the most - you name it - person - and He doesn't give up, and He doesn't throw people away. I choose to follow Him, and I will keep following Him despite the ebb and flow of culture. If you're toxic, cool, so am I. Welcome to the busted up hearts club; we're depending on antivenom that is not of this world.

It's never been cool to follow Jesus, I suspect it never will be. Jesus said in John's gospel that the world hated Him because He spoke out against its deeds and darkness (paraphrase). It's choosing today who I will serve. Culture or Jesus. The pull or Jesus. People or Jesus. Approval or Jesus.

Graverobber

Every song has a moment.

Maybe you'll know the one I'm thinking of. As Asa and I were jumping and worshipping around the kitchen this morning (daily occurrence) the "moment" came like it always does ...

(pause..2,3,4) AND I RAN OUT OF THAT GRAVE! (Fun instrumentation and dance party follows.)

Freedom. That's the line. The moment. The Gospel, and what it freely offers to each of us. Dropped chains, wild freedom.

I don't know what your grave is or was this morning, or how it maybe reburies you from time to time as we all keep walking with the Lord, 'working out our salvation with fear and trembling' (Philippians 2:12), but I do know our God is a graverobber. His shovel is made of steel, and nothing .. no thing .. is beyond His saving reach!

My grave this morning is a person, rusted and broken open at my feet. His Grace is greater, so I keep dancing.

Glorious Day - Passion, Kristian Stanfill

What is the Goal?

I've recently been going through some new resources & training material on church leadership, online/media ministry & tools for engaging both church and culture through social media. God continually describes His Church in the new testament as a body of believers - and I love that description; it's one I can really get - a diverse, divinely purposed, group of independent parts completely dependent upon one another in order to function - our primary function being to fulfill the great commission while we're here on earth with the time that's been gifted to us.

Here are some good questions being asked out there for church leaders to also assess for the overall health, unity & potential scope/influence of the Church:

1. What is the goal? What are we moving toward? If we are honest, is it to put on a "nice" service once or twice a week, with no hiccups? To appease a certain crowd/age demographic? Perhaps to not rock the boat? What about folks who aren't yet a part of our church - do our hearts earnestly beat and break for lost people?

2. If we are unconcerned at least (or hardened at worst) toward lost people (a huge red flag), what needs to change?

3. Are we asking millennials and the upcoming generations to "wait their turn" as to how we "do" church, or are we eagerly looking to them for ideas and collaboration? Is our church culture healthy when it comes to how we view, treat and minister to the generations, or are we too participating in culture wars within the church? 

4. Are we willing to be refreshed in the direction and leading of the Holy Spirit, or to potentially be replaced as God's leaders (Francis Chan, Letters to the Church)? (This last idea is not new but has stuck with me for over a year.) Refreshment or replacement requires braving outside of the comfort zone or "this is how we've always done things/this is proven to work" kind of mentalities and biases, and it also requires crazy humility.

5. Last, do we view and optimize technology as a means for reaching the lost, improving our services and our potential reach/influence, or are we hesitant, perhaps even resistant to this change? To change in general? It's okay - but if so, I wonder why? Which really brings it full-circle to question 1 - what is the goal?

If our primary goal is to reach lost people - and I believe it ought to be - we will use whatever means necessary in order to do so, knowing the methods will vary (and that it's even good the methods vary).

And of course, without compromising the Gospel.

I'd love to know what *you think, though; how has God called and equipped YOU to fulfill the great commission, in this time, in your place, and in this culture? If you are a church leader, what are some practical ways you are promoting unity within the generations in your church, and keeping a laser-like focus on the lost?

10 Movies to Watch Before You Die

Everyone has a favorite movie list, and I wanted to share an adaptation of mine with you.
Here are 10 movies that taught me about love and life:

1. Slumdog Millionaire

2. The Green Mile

3. La La Land

4. Meet Joe Black

5. Whiplash

6. The Great Gatsby

7. Pride & Prejudice

8. When Harry Met Sally

9. Sing Street

10. The Breakfast Club

Bonus - Webb's List of "Cinematic Achievements" (his words :)):

1. A New Hope
2. Back to the Future
3. Jurassic Park
4. Pulp Fiction
5. Metropolis
6. The Godfather
7. Sideways
8. The Sixth Sense
9. Fellowship of the Ring
10. The Room

What are your favorite movies that taught you about love and life?

The Struggle

Between the call to create & the ability. There is nothing new under the sun.

Have you ever experienced the sinking/stabbing pins and needles realization that you have nothing new to say? To contribute (that it would be almost arrogant to assume that you do)? It's kind of like when your foot falls asleep, but maybe it's the soul.

I'm there. I've been listening to a lot of music lately, and it's like .. all of the good songs have already been written. Everything worth saying already said; everything worth writing already written. I'm not sad, just maybe a little lost. If anything, it creates a deeper empty-handed awe. They wanted actresses and models, but I'm a writer.

Feels Like Summer

Solomon's insight here is so pure. God just keeps me bringing me back:

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

People come and go. Words go out and come back in, and if we're lucky, we listen.  Love hardens into indifference. The world, simultaneously changing and staying the same, is still under His orchestration, like He's saying, "It's all okay, it's all going to be okay."

Jerusalem, New York, Berlin - Vampire Weekend

Feels Like Summer - Weezer

Time & Silence

God is on me lately about being a better friend; it's like I can't get out from under it. When I'm not trudging through it myself, I'm seeing it. Everywhere. Please don't mishear me; I don't have this all down. I've made a lot of mistakes but by His grace, He's allowing me to learn from them. My hope is to help others navigate this, because I believe relationships are important to God, & therefore worth salvaging - especially in light of a culture that says it's ok to dispose of whatever is no longer serving us.

With all of this being said, I think one of the biggest avoidable pitfalls in relationship lies in assuming everything will survive with just enough time & silence. Just cutting a tie & letting it drift off to sea after a fracture is suffered, hoping it all returns in one piece someday. I know this - too much time & silence leads to the eventual loss of the relationship. Are we that willing to let our people go? And over what .. a misunderstanding? Ego? Having to acknowledge our failures? To (gulp).. apologize? (Y I K E S!)

Humility is an affront to all of this. Humility says to die to it. Die to it for Jesus. Die to it for that person. Your 'right' to be right. Your pride. The potential awkwardness. Let the offense go, not the person; if anything elevate the other person.

Time is fine, often necessary, but coupled with follow-up. Prayer. Discernment. Then the hard part: vulnerability.  The honest, often awkward conversations. Apologies. Amends. It's one thing to know how to do it, another thing to talk about it, an offensive line to tell others how to do it & an entirely different entity altogether to actually do it. If we want real relationships we're going to have to grow up a little bit in this area (and it works in all things, right? Doing, not just hearing, saying. Regurgitating with no action.)

So who have we hurt, maybe even unintentionally? Which relationship needs tending? In my own life, I'm trying to adopt a mindset that says I can't (won't) just let them slip away, especially when I know God has given them to me & He demonstrated for all of us the very power and nature of rescue & reconciliation, how we were all, in spite of ourselves, fought for on the cross. Don't let them go.

September Favorites

"Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them."

- - Tolstoy

Places - Allie Paige

Galatians 5

So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law ...

But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive by faith the righteousness God has promised to us. For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.

You were running the race so well. Who has held you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom. This false teaching is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough! I am trusting the Lord to keep you from believing false teachings. God will judge that person, whoever he is, who has been confusing you ...

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another.

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.

August Favorites

Youth is in a grand flush, like the hot days of ending summer; and pleasant dreams thrall your spirit, like the smoky atmosphere that bathes the landscape of an August day.  - Donald G. Mitchell

A Million Times Over

These scriptures struck me this morning:

"I remember concerning you the devotion of your youth, the love of your betrothals, your following after me in the wilderness, through a land not sown." Jeremiah 2:2

"What injustice did your fathers find in Me, that they went far from Me & walked after emptiness & became empty?" Jeremiah 2:5

"For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the Fountain of living waters, to hew for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water." Jeremiah 2:13

God is more forgotten than likely to forget.
He asks why, abandoned.
A million times over more ache than wrath.

God is Greater than our Heart

"We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things."

- - 1 John 3:19-20 (NAS)

Commentary Note:

God is greater than our heart. We may be either too strict

or too lenient in examining our lives;

therefore John's word of comfort is,

God the all-knowing is also the all-loving.

I've held a certain sin within scar tissue

wondering if it would ever heal.

God forgave me & seared my conscious

& I will forever sing His praises.

July Favorites

Encouragement for Young Friends

I love this song.

The message of Send them off! is about getting a grip over your thought-life (anyone? Bueller?) while the imagery of the video looks alarmingly like trying to navigate this world in search of something 'more' (stained glass, light, open doors, etc.).

Talking with a few of my younger friends/former students lately - the unified fear I hear {and feel from time to time too} is that trying to live their lives in *this* world is bleak, even treacherous. Friends, if we're not diligent to grab this fear at the root {the mind} and tie it down at the foot of the cross, that fear will trip up and paralyze your potential as one of God's warriors - a uniquely placed catalyst for actual change in this world. 'Change' doesn't come from the government, or strong leaders. 'People' aren't meant to shoulder the title of 'Savior'. It begins and ends with Jesus, Who chooses to use YOU. Now multiply that. Now scatter it all over the world. {Real change.}

Watch the Video Here

So what do we do as society seems to crumble before our eyes, when headlines invoke fear, when mounting anxiety = asphyxiation, and {the icing on top} we have 100% no control over any of it?

Go back to the beginning. Remember what you're dealing with:

And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. - - 1 John 2:17 NLT

Remember your call//realize your purpose in this:

1. You were never meant to carry or 'fix' this.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
- - Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

2. Jesus tells us we're not alone.

If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the one who sent me. They would not be guilty if I had not come and spoken to them. But now they have no excuse for their sin. Anyone who hates me also hates my Father. If I hadn’t done such miraculous signs among them that no one else could do, they would not be guilty. But as it is, they have seen everything I did, yet they still hate me and my Father. This fulfills what is written in their Scriptures: ‘They hated me without cause.’ - - John 15:18-25 NLT

3. Is following Jesus worth it?

Anyone who calls themselves a Christian needs to assess if they're actually following Jesus. Often it's us following the drive of 'self' masquerading as 'Christianity'.

Jesus: Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters—yes, even one’s own self!—can’t be my disciple. Anyone who won’t shoulder his own cross and follow behind me can’t be my disciple. Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish.’ Or can you imagine a king going into battle against another king without first deciding whether it is possible with his ten thousand troops to face the twenty thousand troops of the other? And if he decides he can’t, won’t he send an emissary and work out a truce? Simply put, if you’re not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can’t be my disciple. Salt is excellent. But if the salt goes flat, it’s useless, good for nothing. Are you listening to this? Really listening?  - - Luke 14:25-34 MSG

Young friends - breathe.
Pray - take your fears and concerns directly to God - do not pass His Word, do not collect anxiety & depression {from a world that was pre-determined to die anyway}.
Strengthen up. Knowing God's plan, step boldly into your role in it. You are a torch-bearer, a source of *light*, a daughter or son of the Living God, a bringer of His *hope*.

Words

Play Me

I live near this field.

And near this field, my boy gets into the sticker patch. {Repeatedly.}

They attach everywhere and are hard to remove without breaking into smaller, equally itchy/irritating pieces.

I've been thinking. 

Our words are a lot like these stickers.

And we have the choice to make them sweet, or dig them in like barbs. Either way, they stick.

Each thought leaves a trail of stardust from your heart to your mouth, and I can't get your words out of my head.

Father, help me to change. {To forget. To forgive. To let You reign over my speech.} 

Blip # 3

I think we've been given bad advice.

"Follow your heart."

How can we adopt this 'truth' {especially in an empowered, self-driven culture} when God's Word, in direct opposition, gently spills Light all over it (over everything):

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

Jeremiah 17:9 

The short answer is, we can't, and I believe time is short for the Christian who continues to try to attach contradictory badges of 'truth' and labels to himself (whether consciously or by sitting idle) while the Gospel fades and slips underwater in the process. Following Jesus, by default, means we will have to make the choice (many choices in fact) to deny ourselves, to reject truth that sounds right in exchange for God's life-giving, unchanging Truth. And if we're being honest... that is a sacrifice.

It amazes (and scares) me how often following our hearts simply leads ... to harm. 

And we walk right into it, like a grave - blinded by pretty words and shafts of temporary light.

{A call now to - more than ever with truth so relative and hard to find - stay informed and awake.}

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

John 10:10

But You, God.

Maybe it's not okay anymore, as a Christian, to say 'I'm burned out', 'I can't do this anymore', 'I'm tired'; 'this is not my job.' - to continue in this line of thinking. To say, 'I can't go back there, Lord - to that same place, that same group, the same cycle of sin.'

I get irritated with myself, and this lack of faith, like - do I really believe nothing is impossible for You?

Do I really believe that You do new things? That there is new mercy for me here? I'm asking the One Who breathes LIFE, Who makes dead things alive... dry bones, ashes & phoenix-type stuff, the One Who couples brokenness w/ beauty, weakness w/ strength... Who resurrects the dead - even the dead in me? Who are You, and what can You do? Remind me again, because my attitude needs a 180*.

The truth is, I am tired... but You never sleep!
I do get burned out, but You never stop burning. A flame in the dark, You never stop creating, never stop imagining, but at the same time never change; You never stop breathing fresh vision into Your leaders & people, if we would just stop to listen.

'I can't', but You can.

'I won't go back there', because You're already walking in ahead of me, guiding & protecting me, a fierce, bright Light.