Grace is offensive.
In a time and place where it seems like everyone is hanging on words so freely/carelessly/callously given, dime a dozen, and cheap... it's like we're looking for something to be hurt by, the needle to run into while crying, "I'm bleeding!" When did we opt for silencing thought, our uniqueness and individuality? And in the name of what?
This being said, grace offends me.
In my own power and spirit and flesh... grace is offensive to me.
Left alone, the thought of extending anything not born of myself {love, compassion, kindness... even a hug at times} naturally produces recoiling and a spiritual deafening... some kind of gradual loss. I don't have to do that... I don't want to do that.
It does not come naturally to forgive.
It does not come naturally to love those who have hurt us.
It does not come naturally for us to go out of our way to include people who annoy us.
It does not come naturally to love unconditionally.
Grace offends us.
The beauty of this contrast though is - the Christian is not self-powered, and she is never left alone.
Our God is a relentless god... He will never stop. This 'good thing', this 'completion' we are working towards that began on day 1 - when I agreed in both spirit and mind, and confessed with my mouth and in a thousand small ways over the course of very long years {with a winding gravel road still outstretched before us!} - the total Glory and Authority and Lordship of our great God, Jesus Christ over this life... it strikes both awe and fear in my heart.
Sometimes I want you to leave me alone. Your gaze is direct sunlight.
When I'm sinking in quicksand, struggling against the pull of anxiety and the frailty of human thought/flesh, You lean down and sift me - over and over again. Why won't You leave me? You will never leave me! You shine light into my mind, and take back for Yourself those captive places.
Sometimes, it won't feel like they deserve my time, love or affection. Neither did I.
They won't see that I am the one who has been there for them. But You see.
Sometimes, it's too pain-filled to try, and I am tired. Your strength never runs out; You never run out; it's love that is always the right answer; it's from You, and it's alive in me.
Sometimes I won't want to give them kind words or compassion. You speak them to me anyways.
I don't want to put them first; I don't want to die to myself. But You did.
Grace is 'un-merited; it hangs solely on the benevolence of the giver' (para) (B. Moore).
You re-orient my heart. You supplement my weaknesses. You teach me. You give me strength and perspective; You're giving me Your light and Life. You gave so that we might give. You Loved, so that I would know how to love and what it is to be Loved. You died, so that I would *see* the example, Your sacrifice, and You Live so that I too might Live.
This offends everything in me I knew before You. It resonates with everything at work in me now {You}.
Grace is foreign.
Grace is beautiful.
Grace is foundational.
Grace is sufficient.
Grace is welcome.