God is on me lately about being a better friend; it's like I can't get out from under it. When I'm not trudging through it myself, I'm seeing it. Everywhere. Please don't mishear me; I don't have this all down. I've made a lot of mistakes but by His grace, He's allowing me to learn from them. My hope is to help others navigate this, because I believe relationships are important to God, & therefore worth salvaging - especially in light of a culture that says it's ok to dispose of whatever is no longer serving us.
With all of this being said, I think one of the biggest avoidable pitfalls in relationship lies in assuming everything will survive with just enough time & silence. Just cutting a tie & letting it drift off to sea after a fracture is suffered, hoping it all returns in one piece someday. I know this - too much time & silence leads to the eventual loss of the relationship. Are we that willing to let our people go? And over what .. a misunderstanding? Ego? Having to acknowledge our failures? To (gulp).. apologize? (Y I K E S!)
Humility is an affront to all of this. Humility says to die to it. Die to it for Jesus. Die to it for that person. Your 'right' to be right. Your pride. The potential awkwardness. Let the offense go, not the person; if anything elevate the other person.
Time is fine, often necessary, but coupled with follow-up. Prayer. Discernment. Then the hard part: vulnerability. The honest, often awkward conversations. Apologies. Amends. It's one thing to know how to do it, another thing to talk about it, an offensive line to tell others how to do it & an entirely different entity altogether to actually do it. If we want real relationships we're going to have to grow up a little bit in this area (and it works in all things, right? Doing, not just hearing, saying. Regurgitating with no action.)
So who have we hurt, maybe even unintentionally? Which relationship needs tending? In my own life, I'm trying to adopt a mindset that says I can't (won't) just let them slip away, especially when I know God has given them to me & He demonstrated for all of us the very power and nature of rescue & reconciliation, how we were all, in spite of ourselves, fought for on the cross. Don't let them go.