One-sided

On this frosty holiday, I have to admit that one-sided friendships are the trickiest kind.

I think often "oh I should ask them that", "I wonder how they're doing", or "they'll have great thoughts on this" only to be returned with one word answers and a disproportionate level of interest.

Who loathes themself so much as to try to continue a relationship with a ghost?

The pull

Something cultural I've been kind of watching, and find myself, even now, just resisting in my spirit, is the idea that it's ok to sum people up as "toxic" and consequently throw them away, or whatever we define as 'no longer serving us' (I'm not talking clinical personality disorders here, I'm talking the flippancy of it - you said something mean, or that I don't agree with, therefore you are toxic, therefore I'm justified in ghosting you.) Aren't we all a little toxic? We all need grace for our faults, not to be labeled and thrown out like week old meat.

(We all need grace.)

This is just one reason why I am a Christian (despite it being a wildly unpopular path). Think of the rebellion of Jesus. Jesus didn't play by the rules. He upset culture. Confronted it. People didn't know what to do with Him. He couldn't be labeled or shoved in a box. Thrown in the trash. Christianity - the real, unscrewed up, if everyone modeled it perfectly, Biblical Christianity - is uniquely distinguished amongst other religions and belief systems by GRACE - the idea that we get what we don't deserve. <Who does that???> We can't earn it, it's not based on how good or bad we are, or the things we do or don't do; with Christianity it's - we literally have no other card to play - but Jesus. Maybe that needs to be emphasized more.

Jesus holds sick people close, and we are all sick. It's the human condition. Have you ever thought of it that way? That maybe it's not hypocrisy you see but the human condition? I've seen the human condition inside and outside of the church.

Culture can do whatever they want with Christianity, they will and they do; the church will do what it wants with Christianity, it will and it does, and even now, the Church, Jesus' Bride is crying out in the same key as the world, for things to be made right, for justice, but none of anything we see unfolding holds a candle to the love and teachings of Jesus Himself.

His Love is unstoppable. He pursues even the weakest, most distant, angry, lonely, broken, the darkest, the most far gone, the most sociopathic, the most indoctrinated, the most - you name it - person - and He doesn't give up, and He doesn't throw people away. I choose to follow Him, and I will keep following Him despite the ebb and flow of culture. If you're toxic, cool, so am I. Welcome to the busted up hearts club; we're depending on antivenom that is not of this world.

It's never been cool to follow Jesus, I suspect it never will be. Jesus said in John's gospel that the world hated Him because He spoke out against its deeds and darkness (paraphrase). It's choosing today who I will serve. Culture or Jesus. The pull or Jesus. People or Jesus. Approval or Jesus.

Graverobber

Every song has a moment.

Maybe you'll know the one I'm thinking of. As Asa and I were jumping and worshipping around the kitchen this morning (daily occurrence) the "moment" came like it always does ...

(pause..2,3,4) AND I RAN OUT OF THAT GRAVE! (Fun instrumentation and dance party follows.)

Freedom. That's the line. The moment. The Gospel, and what it freely offers to each of us. Dropped chains, wild freedom.

I don't know what your grave is or was this morning, or how it maybe reburies you from time to time as we all keep walking with the Lord, 'working out our salvation with fear and trembling' (Philippians 2:12), but I do know our God is a graverobber. His shovel is made of steel, and nothing .. no thing .. is beyond His saving reach!

My grave this morning is a person, rusted and broken open at my feet. His Grace is greater, so I keep dancing.

Glorious Day - Passion, Kristian Stanfill

What is the Goal?

I've recently been going through some new resources & training material on church leadership, online/media ministry & tools for engaging both church and culture through social media. God continually describes His Church in the new testament as a body of believers - and I love that description; it's one I can really get - a diverse, divinely purposed, group of independent parts completely dependent upon one another in order to function - our primary function being to fulfill the great commission while we're here on earth with the time that's been gifted to us.

Here are some good questions being asked out there for church leaders to also assess for the overall health, unity & potential scope/influence of the Church:

1. What is the goal? What are we moving toward? If we are honest, is it to put on a "nice" service once or twice a week, with no hiccups? To appease a certain crowd/age demographic? Perhaps to not rock the boat? What about folks who aren't yet a part of our church - do our hearts earnestly beat and break for lost people?

2. If we are unconcerned at least (or hardened at worst) toward lost people (a huge red flag), what needs to change?

3. Are we asking millennials and the upcoming generations to "wait their turn" as to how we "do" church, or are we eagerly looking to them for ideas and collaboration? Is our church culture healthy when it comes to how we view, treat and minister to the generations, or are we too participating in culture wars within the church? 

4. Are we willing to be refreshed in the direction and leading of the Holy Spirit, or to potentially be replaced as God's leaders (Francis Chan, Letters to the Church)? (This last idea is not new but has stuck with me for over a year.) Refreshment or replacement requires braving outside of the comfort zone or "this is how we've always done things/this is proven to work" kind of mentalities and biases, and it also requires crazy humility.

5. Last, do we view and optimize technology as a means for reaching the lost, improving our services and our potential reach/influence, or are we hesitant, perhaps even resistant to this change? To change in general? It's okay - but if so, I wonder why? Which really brings it full-circle to question 1 - what is the goal?

If our primary goal is to reach lost people - and I believe it ought to be - we will use whatever means necessary in order to do so, knowing the methods will vary (and that it's even good the methods vary).

And of course, without compromising the Gospel.

I'd love to know what *you think, though; how has God called and equipped YOU to fulfill the great commission, in this time, in your place, and in this culture? If you are a church leader, what are some practical ways you are promoting unity within the generations in your church, and keeping a laser-like focus on the lost?

10 Movies to Watch Before You Die

Everyone has a favorite movie list, and I wanted to share an adaptation of mine with you.
Here are 10 movies that taught me about love and life:

1. Slumdog Millionaire

2. The Green Mile

3. La La Land

4. Meet Joe Black

5. Whiplash

6. The Great Gatsby

7. Pride & Prejudice

8. When Harry Met Sally

9. Sing Street

10. The Breakfast Club

Bonus - Webb's List of "Cinematic Achievements" (his words :)):

1. A New Hope
2. Back to the Future
3. Jurassic Park
4. Pulp Fiction
5. Metropolis
6. The Godfather
7. Sideways
8. The Sixth Sense
9. Fellowship of the Ring
10. The Room

What are your favorite movies that taught you about love and life?

The Struggle

Between the call to create & the ability. There is nothing new under the sun.

Have you ever experienced the sinking/stabbing pins and needles realization that you have nothing new to say? To contribute (that it would be almost arrogant to assume that you do)? It's kind of like when your foot falls asleep, but maybe it's the soul.

I'm there. I've been listening to a lot of music lately, and it's like .. all of the good songs have already been written. Everything worth saying already said; everything worth writing already written. I'm not sad, just maybe a little lost. If anything, it creates a deeper empty-handed awe. They wanted actresses and models, but I'm a writer.

Feels Like Summer

Solomon's insight here is so pure. God just keeps me bringing me back:

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

People come and go. Words go out and come back in, and if we're lucky, we listen.  Love hardens into indifference. The world, simultaneously changing and staying the same, is still under His orchestration, like He's saying, "It's all okay, it's all going to be okay."

Jerusalem, New York, Berlin - Vampire Weekend

Feels Like Summer - Weezer

Time & Silence

God is on me lately about being a better friend; it's like I can't get out from under it. When I'm not trudging through it myself, I'm seeing it. Everywhere. Please don't mishear me; I don't have this all down. I've made a lot of mistakes but by His grace, He's allowing me to learn from them. My hope is to help others navigate this, because I believe relationships are important to God, & therefore worth salvaging - especially in light of a culture that says it's ok to dispose of whatever is no longer serving us.

With all of this being said, I think one of the biggest avoidable pitfalls in relationship lies in assuming everything will survive with just enough time & silence. Just cutting a tie & letting it drift off to sea after a fracture is suffered, hoping it all returns in one piece someday. I know this - too much time & silence leads to the eventual loss of the relationship. Are we that willing to let our people go? And over what .. a misunderstanding? Ego? Having to acknowledge our failures? To (gulp).. apologize? (Y I K E S!)

Humility is an affront to all of this. Humility says to die to it. Die to it for Jesus. Die to it for that person. Your 'right' to be right. Your pride. The potential awkwardness. Let the offense go, not the person; if anything elevate the other person.

Time is fine, often necessary, but coupled with follow-up. Prayer. Discernment. Then the hard part: vulnerability.  The honest, often awkward conversations. Apologies. Amends. It's one thing to know how to do it, another thing to talk about it, an offensive line to tell others how to do it & an entirely different entity altogether to actually do it. If we want real relationships we're going to have to grow up a little bit in this area (and it works in all things, right? Doing, not just hearing, saying. Regurgitating with no action.)

So who have we hurt, maybe even unintentionally? Which relationship needs tending? In my own life, I'm trying to adopt a mindset that says I can't (won't) just let them slip away, especially when I know God has given them to me & He demonstrated for all of us the very power and nature of rescue & reconciliation, how we were all, in spite of ourselves, fought for on the cross. Don't let them go.