I'm not Ann Voskamp.
My blog is not interlaced with beautiful shots of Canadian farmland, 'the hard things', 'the farmer's hands', or the ethereal language and grace that God has so evidently and supernaturally grafted into her. No. My keyboard is more attuned to the interlacing of pumpkin spice cake crumbs with key cracks (which some would argue is beautiful) ... it's all true, though. I'm white, it's October, I admire Ann, and apparently you need to know that these kinds of things are happening in the world.
Along comparison-drawing, you also need to know that even now, the people-pleasing shadow that once followed around a corpse, still sneaks up behind me whispering all kinds of evil: 'who do you think you are? Who gave you the authority (or the assignment) to do any of this?', and I have to squeeze my eyes and believe my God, and shut that shadow down - not unlike Gideon who shook before men even though he was already Named 'warrior'.
Anyways. The point of this post is to perhaps re-direct our focus to God during times of uncertainty. Are you waiting on God, and I'll push you: what are you doing in the waiting?
Do we treat the 'waiting' as something to be endured, to grind our teeth and 'just get through it' in order to truly arrive at the next thing - the thing we were really after? Friend, I'll ask: what if the 'waiting' is the point?
Do we faint or lose heart when God's direction is not clearly spelled in the sand, or proclaimed from the skies? Will we wait well, or second-guess Him, or simply (more easily) slip into a vegetative state from a lack of perceived 'movement' on His part? Plainly put ...
{Is our thinking of God's movement in our lives toward 'the next thing' - or toward holiness?}
Let's face it: there's not always going to be a 'next thing'. We see this throughout scripture and in the character/nature of God. If our God is the god of quiet, humble things - it makes sense that the valley/desert/flat-line experiences that force us to wait (or, remain dependent!) are of the utmost value to Him. It's where He does the majority of His surgical work in us, and where we, in turn, do our most growing.
Maybe it's dismantling the worldly idea that Kingdom work is only 'successful' if it's shrouded in glory. Listen - glory and grandeur belong to God, not necessarily our adventures. We are the King's vessels waiting for marching orders, and we must make a pact to not take a moment for granted, even the ones where we wait. What if waiting is the point?
So while we're flipping through metaphorical magazines - we can always come back to one blood-stained, grace-soaked page for growth in the interim:
God, how can I Live well today?
One step in front of the other, hour by hour (moment by moment), one thought, one interaction at a time clarification: Lord, show me how to Live. well.
To Love. To leak Grace (L. Harper). To forgive. To be patient. To be still.
God, train us while we wait.
